In the game of life, there are two ways to handle stressful situations. The “wolves,” aka the future finance bros of America, hunt their prey and try to achieve the impossible- leaving school as early as they can during student-teacher conferences. Navigating the web of classrooms and teacher times is an art. Many fail. You either leave at 11:30 am or 4:00 pm; there is no in-between. The strong vs. the weak. Who will win in the game to receive an early dismissal? 

Students from the days of ‘yore have pondered the need for student-teacher conferences. What is truly achieved by the four-minute meetings? “I think it’s when the teachers learn their students’ names,” says Orli Rabbani ’25 “For those of us who don’t speak a lot in class, it’s when they finally are able to tell the quiet kids apart. I don’t think one of my teachers knew my name until today. I’m dead serious. Every time he handed tests back, he would hand mine back last and look around the room for who was still without a paper. He was trying to be sneaky about it, but I knew. We all knew. But hey, at least now they can match the silence to the face.” The conferences also allow the in-betweeners to understand their footing in classes. “I got a 95 on the first test and a 78 on the second. I think the teacher does not like me very much,” says a student who would rather stay anonymous, “but today, I was able to read her facial expressions when talking to me and gauge my status in her class. Later I am going to have an in-depth conversation with my friends, analyzing every little thing she said to me. That’s the way to do it, after all. She’s the type of teacher who will give students an A if they have an 85 average. At least that’s what a senior told me.” Sources have confirmed that this statement is unfounded. Teacher myths from seniors should not be regarded as fact. Senioritis seems to be spreading among the population. Symptoms include: under exaggerating how hard classes are, blasting music from the fourth-floor lounge, and making the library into a hangout spot. There is no known cure at this time, so this writer urges everyone to stay safe and on the lookout since you may end up enjoying yourself too much. This disease warning is sponsored by Rabbi Bodner, a man known for caring about the free expression and liberties of Ramaz students. 

Student-teacher conferences are a time for the student body to get to know their teachers on a deeper level. In addition, the Rampage has reported that the number of doctors’ appointments rises a whopping 300% on this day. One can only wonder if stress from sitting one-on-one with the person whose class is your ticket into college may be the culprit. Our mental health could never make it till Mincha. The day might be a rat race against friends, the stairs, and students’ sanity, but for all it’s worth, it’s an experience teachers and students alike will never remember.