For whom does the bell toll? It tolls for its own amusement, dear Ramaz population. It is not satisfied with merely dictating our entire day (when it starts, when it ends, and everything in between). It has decided that it must mess with us. Probably because we keep changing the schedule so much that the poor thing cannot keep up. Although, however justified it may be, it is like playing “Ding-Dong Ditch” with a psychopath. It keeps coming back and ringing. In Macbeth, our titular brooding and ambitious character, whose traits are rivaled only by the brooding and ambitious students at Ramaz, says in Act 2 Scene 1, “I go, and it is done; the bell invites me. / Hear it not, Duncan, for it is a knell / That summons thee to heaven or to hell.”. Even though it called him to murder Duncan, at least it only rang when it was supposed to. Ours chimes so much throughout the day, it’s like Tinkerbell is trying to communicate with us. Each day sounds like Santa Claus is coming to town. It is putting our entire school through the wringer.
Despite their long history of opposition on all things school related, teachers and students are coming together in agreement on this topic. Our sassy fifth floor fashionista (If you can’t guess who this is then A) I feel so sad for you and B) It’s obviously Mr. Deutsch. What other name could have possibly entered your mind? Dr. Rotenberg?! Ludicrous.) had quite a lot to say on the subject matter when asked. “If you can’t teach the bells to ring properly then how am I supposed to teach these spoiled teenage toilets? Bells are the most basic school function. Why can’t they get it right?! I did not fight under this flag [points to the wall opposite the windows in room 501] during our country’s revolution for simple school bells to not work. THIS IS AMERICA DAMMIT!” Like this guy, the 50 bell-per-day system is ridiculous. Even I am more punctual than the bell. And you can ask Ms. Newman how often I was late to her class last year.
Members of our administration are literally wringing their hands in stress because they have no idea what to do. There has been talk about hiring a person to ring an actual bell over the loudspeaker instead of using the (extremely) faulty bell system, but nothing has been set yet. Potential candidates include a 19-year-old Parisian hunchback, a Chinese monk, and Mr. Elisha, our school’s prized percussionist. Unfortunately, there might not be enough money left in the budget for this. Not after it was all blown on a new tap-in system and portable chargers. They will probably need to raise the prices of the Ramaz skirts to make ends meet and fix this system. Until then, chaos will continue to reign and ring in the middle of class.
